In Awe

Today we had our 35 week visit and all is still well, no change. I never thought something not changing could be so great, but it is. Tamara is doing well and the baby is doing great, in fact she measures 36 weeks. We go back next Thursday for another visit and then from there the next time we will see Dr. Hix will be on D-day...Delivery day. We are now 2 weeks away from meeting little...oh wait she doesn't have a name yet. In fact, she has a lot of possibilities so maybe we will call her Many Martin (for the amount of names we have looked at and considered) and if you say it fast it sounds like Mini Martin although she will be huge compared to little Jack's entrance into this world at 2lbs 4ozs. Many Martin.

I don't know if you have ever just stood and in been in awe of something, but today I have found myself reflecting on a few reason why I am and should be in awe of God and His graciousness. First, I was in awe again today with the news of no change, not because I didn't think God could or would do that more just in the fact that He has. I hope that makes sense to you, I know in my heart and believe by faith that God is able to do abundantly more than I could ever even ask for but when it happens before your very eyes there is reason to stand in awe. In fact, we were leaving Dr. Hix's office today right around lunch time to go home and relieve our baby sitter (thank you Caroline) and I called one of my best friends to tell him the news of no change when it dawned on me and I shared it with him, 2 weeks from now (then 12:20 p.m.) people will be driving to the hospital on their lunch hour to see our precious little girl. Don't be mistaken there is no chance you are going to hold her...She is mine...MINE. Wait, no that isn't even right she too is a gift from God and again I stand in awe.

Second, I stand in awe because I don't think I ever even came close to realizing the love God is and has for us in giving up his only son for me until I witnessed the birth of my own children. I have never known love like that. I love my wife more than you will ever know and I love my family like crazy, but it feels different when you lay eyes on your own child. All the the other love I can remember feeling or experiencing in my life previous to having Cooper consisted of learning to love things and people through experiences and circumstances, but not with my kids, when they were born and even before but for sure when I laid my eyes on them for the first time I was instantly in love. My perspective was forever changed when I held Cooper for the first time and remember thinking about how much God loves me to send His son to die in my place that I could forever be with God. I stand in awe of our God who loves us so much He gave up His only son.

Third, I stood in awe today because I realized that the Lord has blessed me beyond what I could have ever hoped or imagined with my family and extended family, my health, my job, my house, my friends, and so much more. The crazy part about that is there is a world of blessings out there that I don't even know about yet. A world of awe, and I am grateful because I am His.

I don't ever want to stop having awe moments with God, and I never want to loose sight of the fact that God has done more for me then I can ever do for Him. My life in service, dedication, admiration, and love to Him flails in comparison to what He has already done for me, yet it is what I am called to do, give all of me to all of Him. There is much to stand in awe of for me and these are only my thoughts from today. Praise God for who He is and what He has done.

I will post more later in the week with an update on the boys because let me tell you they are something else and I love it.

Love you all
Stephen