Days like THIS got Jerry McGuire Fired!!!

This is not a post about my family per se but indirectly it certainly is. You remember the scenes in Jerry McGuire where Jerry has an epiphany about what is wrong with his business and the world around him and decides he is going to be a change agent. He stays up after many hours and crinkled pieces of paper on the floor and pounds out what he believes is to be the new mission statement for his sports agency firm. This manifesto would be his downfall professionally at least as we look at it from a carnal perspective. What I am about to write I don't fear will get me fired but I am feeling like Jerry did that day and let me assure you I don't even have an office goldfish should I get the boot.


Many Wednesday mornings you can find a group of campus ministers gathering over grocery store donuts and coffee for prayer; prayer for the campus, the students, and one another. I have been involved in this group since coming to UBC 5 years ago, and I have enjoyed getting to know the other laborers and sharing fellowship and prayer with them. This morning was different for me, and what I am about to share with you I share as a testimony to my own frustration personally as well as part of what I think is wrong with the church in general all too often. I am frustrated at myself because I don't' understand why I am so stubborn to learn the things God is trying to teach me and I am frustrated at the church because all too often our evangelical churches look this way too.


I am going to use an example of something that was shared this morning with the group to explain part of my frustration. I haven't decided where I land on this opportunity yet so please understand I am taking as objective an approach as I can. To make a long story short, a federal grant has been awarded to John Brown University to help combat against the staggering numbers of failed marriages in Arkansas and specifically in NW AR, a task force from JBU has been charged with making a difference with this grant money...great so far right? This group from JBU is hosting marriage enrichment seminars as well as seeking to provide pre-marital counseling on college campuses and other wonderful ideas. The problem as I see it is due to the fact this is federal grant the separation of Church and State will prevent this group from mentioning the only thing that can be our hope in marriage...CHRIST. I understand the material for these conferences will be Biblical no doubt but the name of Christ will never be mentioned. I feel like, and I am not speaking only to this grant as I will address in a minute, that we putting a band-aid over a fatal wound. These failing marriages don't need new principles they need Christ whether they are Christians or not. The bottom line is Christ can salvage any seemingly hopeless situation by His blood. Christians are getting divorced for the same reasons non-Christians are getting divorced; Christ is no long or never was central to the marriages. News Flash: there are days that I don't wake up and "feel" like serving my wife, but Christ in me reminds me that I am to love my wife as Christ loves the church and gave Himself up for her (Eph. 5).


Let me elaborate a little more, we do this with evangelism all the time, especially those of us who are relationally driven. We say that street evangelism or a "cold call" type of evangelism is not for us because we find it more effective in relationships with people, but the reality is all too often in the midst of the relationship we never share Christ. We either loose contact with the person, loose interest, believe that we are not good enough, or one of my favorites we hope that just by the way we live they will see Christ and follow too. This is not evangelism and certainly not what Christ has called us to. Matthew 28 makes clear that we are go and make disciples of all nations (including the one we live) not only baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit but also teaching them to obey ALL God has commanded. I do not want to make a blanket statement about everyone because there are those who do relational evangelism very well and I love the thought of relational evangelism but I am willing to admit that all too often I fall short of being obedient in the those relational evangelistic opportunities.


So what now? Well I have given a lot of thought to this...practically all day, and I have come to realize that I have no idea what now. I just know that once you look in the face of God and get a glimpse of Him from the Scriptures to turn back into your old ways is sin. I know that the answer to fixing marriages isn't going to found apart from the proclamation that Jesus Christ is Lord and must be the center of the home. By the way, I don't think the guys at JBU that are at least doing something would disagree, I am just praying that we as the church and as the called out ones would be more relentless in our proclamation of Christ. Practically speaking maybe that comes to pass at this pre-martial conference with Christ following adults interacting with young engaged or seriously considering couples working on this conference material with an opportunity at the end of the conference to say to them, hey these principles are great but they aren't the glue to my marriage and if you would like to talk more about that then let's meet for coffee and I will tell you. I know with confidence that Christ is what makes me acceptable to God as it pertains to my sin and we as His children have a lot of work to do to be Matthew 28 children.


This applies to my family in so much that I pray we are intentional about all the we do in word and in deed, not putting our hope in the thought that someone might just watch our family and notice a difference. I believe full well that God can and does use good example as a platform for the Gospel but it is not the Gospel in and of itself. I pray Tamara and I are building and leaving a Godly heritage of intentionality for our children not to mention boldness that will prayerfully produce obedient children with a God-sized reckless abandon for the Gospel and for His glory.

Kenya and Martin Update

There is much to report on as we still can't seem to figure out how to update you on a more regular basis....I say you singular because I am all but positive that due to our irregularity in updating our viewer base has disappeared. If you are the faithful one, well done and thanks for checking back. Truthfully, I have ambitions to write more frequently but as you can tell it escapes my mind more than the thoughts are flooding that hollow space. I would like to write on a wide variety of subjects but have yet to do so. In the meantime, here is a simple update on our family.

I have obviously returned from Kenya and it was an amazing trip. There are simply too many stories to tell to do this trip justice in one blog entry. I will point you however to a blog about our trip that our church has compiled from all the team members who have submitted journal entries from our experience. You can find this blog at www.ubcfayetteville.org then click on the link for reach and then missions blog and follow this link to our trip. Here are a couple of takeaways from the trip personally; first, this trip was a complete confirmation that I was were I was supposed to be during the time and life of the Kenya political situation as there were no hospitals or medical facilities open in the area we were serving in and we were there to do a medical missions trip. This confidence I had in being there, confidence from the Lord, was our security while we were in country. There was political unrest, rioting, looting, and demonstrations happening all around us but we were not fearful because our God protected us and we felt His protection and your prayers. Secondly, this trip was a long time coming for me as I have felt led to be a part of one of these trips since Fellowship North started going in 2003 when I still worked in NLR, being there and standing in places I had long dreamed about felt like home, don't worry Mom I don't have plans to move there! However, this like my story of baptism was another step of obedience and obedience felt good. Lastly (for now), the Sunday morning worship experiences we had were awesome as we experienced the same God being worshiped in a different language. Many of the Kenyans have very little but worship God congregationally though He is the only thing they need and rightfully so, while so much of our Western culture has everything we need and more yet we worship God like He is just another thing. God, forgive us for that! Revive our hearts to worship you in spirit and truth as you truly are. I pray God gives me opportunity to go back soon.

Tamara was an amazing source of strength for so many while I was gone, which by the way if you have not noticed she is pretty amazing! Tamara is doing well and staying busy with her "part-time" job. It is fun for me to get to see her enjoying this new adventure and all the challenges that come with it. She is an amazing woman, wife, and mother and I am grateful for her in my life.

Cooper got a major haircut this week and we are still grieving the loss of his curls, though his hair was so thick he barely had any left anyway. However, we are holding out hope that they will return. He is really intrigued with the things of God right now which makes for some amazing conversations. Since it is the the role of the Father to evangelize his own home as well as to lead his family, I count this quite a blessing. Please pray for us as we continue to teach them about the wonders and majesty of our great and awesome God.

Jackson has gone through a little attitude phase but the boy has my heart 99.9% of the time. He is so precious and sweet. He loves school, his big brother, baby sister, reading, eating, and playing with cars. God knew what He was doing when he gave us this little one who loves to snuggle and be loved on.

Kate is learning so much and almost every time she hears a door open she screams at the top of her lungs...DA DA! Honestly, what could be better than that? However, when things aren't going just like she wants it she is looking for Ma Ma. She is so happy and easy going for the most part and is wielding a mouth full of teeth. She loves her big brothers and is changing before our eyes.

We are so blessed with our family and friends and thank you all for sharing in our lives and allowing us to share in yours. God bless and please update us when you have time.

Stephen